I am obsessed with moving to Woodland Hills. There. I said. I know, I know this blog is called the Berkeley Rebellion, and being in Berkeley is a big part of what it is all about, but can we just talk about Woodland Hills for a minute.
1. Woodland Hills is way warmer than Berkeley and if we moved there I could possibly/probably have my very own swimming pool.
2. Woodland Hills real estate is not as expensive as Berkeley (in most cases) and if we moved there we could probably afford me having my very own pool.
3. Woodland Hills is near a lot of people I love.
4. Those people I love could come over to my Woodland Hills home for pool parties.
5. Finally, Woodland Hills is home to an epic number of Mid Century Moderne homes, many of which have unbelievably awesome pools.
Do you see a trend in my thinking? I grew up in the tiny, and very hot-in-the-summer town of Clayton and we had, you guessed it, a pool. I miss having a pool. I miss having a pool and having normal neighbors who don't get crazy ideas about surviving the earthquake apocalypse via collecting garden rakes. Which brings me to...
MY NEIGHBORS HAVE COME UP WITH A PLAN TO SURVIVE 'THE BIG ONE' AKA EARTHQUAKEPOCALYPSE VIA A NEIGHBORHOOD ACTION TEAM THAT WILL, IT SEEMS AMONG OTHERS GATHER UP A BUNCH OF RAKES.
Rakes. You read that correctly. RAKES will save you in a post-mega-quake hell scape, from I don't know, crisis-level leaf piles?
How do I know they have this plan? Because THEY KEEP TELLING ME ABOUT IT, in series of very pointed notes stuffed through our letter box demanding to know which 'earthquake survival team' we want to join ( choices being: human search and rescue, animal search and rescue, fire prevention, medical, and security) and how many of the following items do we own, which they neighborhood will take possession of in the case of an emergency:
Clean drinking water
First aid kits including surgical instruments and major wound bandages.
Garden rakes (?)
Now if we over look the obvious issues like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY WOULD MY SENILE ELDERLY NEIGHBORS NEED SURGICAL INSTRUMENTS, and ARE THEY NOT AWARE THAT BERKELEY HAS IT'S OWN FIRE DEPARTMENT, WHICH IS JUST 2 BLOCKS FROM OUR STREET? One has to wonder, why the garden rakes?
I am betting people in Woodland Hills do not demand you turn over your garden rakes in the event of an emergency.